imperfection

i love my room.

it is bright – plenty of sunlight.

it is spacious.

it is filled with memories of encounters with God.

when i first moved back here, i decided to paint the room to one of my favorite colors – sky blue.

the effect was stunning – everyday i literally feel like i’m in the skies.

however there is one problem – my ceiling paint keeps peeling off. -__-
apparently the foundation paint was so weak and old that it was not able to hold the new paint.

Mark 2:22
“And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.”

the only way to deal with it is to scrap my entire ceiling and repaint my ceiling again.

it was really tedious.

i remembered it was on a sunday when i set up to scrap the painting off my ceiling all by myself.
while scrapping, i log online to listen to Dr.Cho’s service 2 message.

he was preaching on having visions and dreams, about the eternity that God has placed into our hearts.

as i listened to his preaching, i suddenly realized how similar my ceiling is with my heart.

like the peeling ceiling, my heart is so weak. it couldn’t take any weight – even if it’s for its benefit.

so i begin to scrap my ceiling with even more fire, symbolizing my desire to rebuild my heart fast.

but after 2 hours of intensive scrapping (to the point i injured my right arm), i can only managed to scrap off just a portion of the ceiling. it was so frustrating.

and despite my perfectionist nature, i finally decided to stop.

i finally got it! i can’t believe how slow i can be sometimes.

healing takes time. rebuilding takes time. it is a process where you can’t rush.

and ever since that day, i have not attempt to scrap my ceiling again.

currently it looks like this:

and you know what? i love it.

because this is me. i am not perfect and it is okay.

and when the sun shines its light into my room every morning, the room became so beautiful, so breathtaking, it is brilliant.

and then i know…

i am beautiful because of His light that shines in me.

eventually i will mend the rest of the ceiling.

but for now, there is no rush. 🙂

i am at rest.

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